Those words "Matt had another seizure"
Those words "Matt had another seizure"
Doesnt matter who says them I still receive the same reaction pain, a yucky feeling in my gut, tears come to my eyes, thoughts come to my head like why him, what else can I do, what now, how can his body and mind handle this, why, why, why? At no time during the day does this new get any better and waking up to it happening or someone telling you is not to nice either, not that I dont need to be told of course being his full time care giver I do. This even late evening after being woken up to I am unsure what, I hear talk in the kitchen "Matt had a seizure" as I lay here in my bed same thoughts happening tears starting, I decided no this time I am going to instead send love so I sat here in my bed and thought of my son and said I love you, I really love you. I then let it go knowing I am doing the best I can with what I have and everything is working out, everything is exactly as it should be it is out of my control and all I can give him is love and I do.
Matt has had a few seizures ever since he ate those foods that were not good for him and we have been dealing with all different situations. The day after Matt had the food he had some tonic seizures where he just random shakes he didnt know what was going on and was in a very good mood and laugh about it he had many of them that day. Then he had been disorientated and confused he had a few grandmals all at night time and in his bed (thank goodness), and lately has become very confused, imaginative, creative and helusinating not really a good combo. He speaks in spot sentences and we have no idea what he is saying (what I mean by spot sentence is using words that make no sense) example of a spot sentence "Drinking water to get high blood pressure" when asked why he is talking about high blood pressure or why he would want it he answers "the fire makes the water go down".
Food has a very bad reaction on Matt, at times it seems like he has an adiction to food so much so he needs to sneak and it gets very frustrating when he doesnt understand how bad it can be for him. It helps me understand better what someone with a child or partner with an addiction is going through and all we can do is love them for who they are, send them love, acceptance, understanding and let all the what we think it should be like go. It is as it is and the only control we have is on us, love is the key here.
I am note sure when Matt will be through this difficult part but I am here for him helping him in every way I can and loving him every step of the way.
<3 Joan Nielsen
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