Times like these

Although I love the "I Love you" and the hugs the shaking and fear behind it isnt so much fun =( I am not sure why this happens to him, is it some sort of seizure? Is it just a different thought where he is so fearful of the love he has for all of us, worried he may loss it? Is it just him and some episodes he has? I dont know, not at all know one knows. I wish I did. It can happen at anytime, it can happen anywhere, just like everything else with Matt we never know what will happen, when it will happen, or how it will happen. Through all the seizures you would think I would be used to them all, but I dont know if as a parent you could ever get used to any of it, non of it. At times like these I just wrap my arms around my shaky son holding him in a big hug, I hear " I just Love you guys" I say "We all love you to bud" As I stand there holding him in my arms knowing in this moment he is safe and held in love, in this moment I have him embarrassed in my love, my unconditional love, " I Love you" I tell him as he has his arms wrapped around me and I hold him even closer.

Everything is going to be okay, this is just a moment, Breath and enjoy the hug, give him this moment although I feel a moment of fear why again, why my son, why. I quickly remember I am not supposed to be there I need to be here in this hug, this loving moment, I love more then I fear, I love more then wondering why, I love more then ever before.

Times like these I just allow the love to flow, I just allow us in this moment to hug and be, nothing matters but him and me.