Day by day

One day at a time.

I sometimes get asked what are you doing on such and such a date? Can you come to this? My answer is always the same I am not sure I would love to and will keep you up dated.

I can not plan ahead like that as although I would love to go and do all these wonderful things I never know what is going to happen with Matt and whether or not I am going to be able to, can I take him, is there going to be anyone able to watch him, is he healthy, would someone other then me be able to handle him, how is his health?

I have no idea what will happen in the future, I have no idea what will happen to us or what things we will be able to do on a daily bases I can only at this moment know what this moment will bring, in this moment he is doing good, in this moment he has is in a good mood he is focused in a puzzle book and enjoying it, he has eaten his breakfast today and his lunch with snacks in between. We are having a good day.

Yes we live one day at a time one moment at a time we have no idea what is going to happen at any moment so we have learned to enjoy them all, we have learned to be very, very grateful for the moments we have for the wonderful ones that we get to enjoy our Matt in his great moods for we never know when he is going to in the next second yell for no reason and then after beating himself up for awhile be back in a great mood.

We have no idea when he will be seeing things that are not there where we cant trust him with anyone including himself, we never know when he will have a seizure and end up falling and really hurting himself, we never know if a seizure will really damage any part of his body, we never know if a seizure will kill him.

Yes we never know if he will think he is cured and begin to start eating food he is not allowed to end up having really bad seizures and end up in the zombie state. We never know if he will ever come back from the Zombie state.

Yes we live one day at a time one moment at a time because this is the best place for us to live we have no idea what is going to happen in the next moment we have been through so many things so being here in the moment is where we live.

TODAY IS ALL WE HAVE.