ARE YOU KIDDING ME

Are you kidding me I hear myself say once I hear the receptionist on the other end, to her I politely say okay what do we do now?

I hear more screaming in my head are you kidding me, what the heck, what now, Oh my god, OH MY GOD REALLY.

I cant believe it what now I am feeling myself get over powered with fear, worry and all I want to do is cry. Keep with it Joan wait to find out whats next.

The receptionist indicates that she will write a message for the doctor and find out what we can do about it and when she wants to see him next.

BREATH JOAN I hear myself say.

I begin to tell Mike and my mom what is going on and again hear myself say out loud this time Are you kidding me, Matt has low blood sugar, (Hypoglycemia) I wish I could have said I had no idea what this meant, I wish I could have said that I myself have never experienced this myself, I wish I could have said this wasn't real but it is.

When I was pregnant with Loki I had gestational diabetes so had my far share of high and low blood sugar so I understand what low blood sugar is but why Matt and what now?

I know that their is more medication that he can go on if it is bad enough and of course changing his diet again to add more food, more healthy sugars but come on.

All we have been doing for so long is working on diet, working on giving him enough even when he feels he is not getting enough. AGH

I was feeling so beaten, so drained, so at wits end.

I just wanted to cry, I just hate him having to go through even more, symptoms for low blood sugar is everything Matt has been going through for awhile now, the last time he was tested for low blood sugar it can back normal but the symptoms where there this time as I had finally thought it was just do to something else it comes back low blood sugar.

As I laid down beside Mike he knew I was all in my head again, he puts his arm around me and said “Its okay we got this, we can get through this, together.”

Just knowing that I am not alone, that we have come so far and although this is another think we will figure it out, yes it could mean more seizures and unhealthy situations for Matt at this moment we can get back on track and get him as healthy as he can be no matter what our goal is still the same no matter what, together we will get through it, together we will find a different way, together we will make it.

Never giving up, no matter what.

Joan Nielsen