I kind of miss him
As I head into Matt's room to wish him a good morning and get the morning started I hear Matt say I kind if miss him.
With out asking I say yes I know, All you can do is send happy thoughts to him and wish him well.
Matt has had to learn to forgive, to love unconditionally and to allow others to choose to leave his life.
Its difficult for many if us to no longer have someone in our life that used to be a big part of our life, especially a family member so for someone like Matt it is even more difficult to understand.
We should be used to it when Matt was first diagnosed we lost many friends some who we were really close to, or at least thought we were.
But some people you just think there is more of a bond with and then they just leave from your life and this is what Matt has to experience. No calls, no visits, no letters, nothing just the unknown.
Life has a way of taking over for us we forget to call, we forget to keep in contact, we get so busy and believe the little we do is enough but is it?
At first Matt didn't understand and it would break his heart when there was no call, no more visits, no more vacations with them and yes I am sure it still does but now he gets to choose how to handle it, now he gets to choose how much he will allow it to hurt.
Matt misses people some we can quickly fix with a visit like his little sister who lives on her own with her hubby in a near by city, some with a phone call or a video chat like Mikes mom, there are some who have passed away and all we can do is share happy memories with to make it more of a happy missing then sad like Aunt Mary, and our pets, there are also some who just choose to not be a part of our life and all we can do is send lots of love, happy thoughts and wish them the very best.
We cant do anything about anyone else all we can do is choose us and who we want to be.
❤ Joan Nielsen
