Some days its a roller coaster ride
Some days its a roller coaster ride.
Yesterday was like a roller coaster ride or at least it felt like one.
As Matt woke up I could see he was not well something was going on he was clingy, sweaty, and pail so very pail. He hugged me and I could feel he was shaking so very bad I comforted him and told him to lay down for a little while.
I get his breakfast and he comes out to eat it, feeling a little better and ready to watch a movie. As I get back from my walk he is back to being not well, clingy, sweaty, pale and shaky, I again take his temperature still normal. I again get him to lay down.
It seems like drop seizures or the after effects of but is it?
I worry about him my heart is heavy.
I get him all settled to do a painting and he has no idea how to do one, not a clue. I try to remind him but he doesn't get it, he doesn't understand not even a little.
My heart sinks, he isn't able to follow instructions too well and I have to help him, maybe today isn't a good day to paint.
I help him back to his room for some movie time and then back to clean up all the painting.
A little while later he seems fine greeting everyone and talking like nothing happened all most time for lunch.
I get his lunch ready he is eating it at the table and when he finishes he heads back to his room as I begin to clean it up. I notice that there is wetness everywhere, where he was I go ask him what happened he is in bed and totally confused, he has no idea why he is in bed let allow why there would be wetness where he sat, he doesn't even know why his pants are off and soaked all the way down.
Did he have an accident? Doesn't smell like it. was it water he spilled? He didn't have any water with his lunch. So what happened?
Clarissa cleaned it up for me while I helped Matt get clean clothes on and set up to watch a movie.
So thankful for the extra help I receive on a daily bases.
For the rest of the afternoon, it was a back and forth, up and down of Matt being clingy, sweaty, pale and confused and then back to normal. If these where drop seizures he must have had about four or five up till this point. It was scary and I found myself really drained by midday.
My hubby Mike who was sleeping for most of the morning as he had to work in the evening could tell something was wrong and when questioned me about it realized I might need a break and got me to lay down for some much-needed snuggles.
As I lay there with him telling him about my morning tears filling up, feeling so bad for my boy and worried about what the heck was going on with him. My husband holding me in his arms and reminding me of how far we have come and that we will get even further in time, reminding me we are doing the best we can.
Tears rolling down my face and I say I just wish I had a magic wand I could use and heal him. "Abracadabra Matt is healed." A little laugh from us both a big hug and my thoughts go back to its okay, it's all okay.
Yes, it is hard some days very hard, but we can do this.
The rest of the evening was similar to the day but I was okay now, I knew this wasn't going to last and Matt can get through this with my help and I can get through this as well with all the help I get.
During dinner Matt was sitting eating his homemade soup I made him and I returned to my room for only a moment when he came in behind me again clingy, sweaty, pale and confused his hands were all wet from his soup I guess he lost his spoon in his bowl or something and was going to get it before another attack came.
I gave him a hug and took him to the sink, helped him wash his hands, and helped him back to the table to finish his dinner.
The evening was similar to the whole day but we managed it just one moment at a time, figuring out what Matt we have with us and what needs to be done.
Night time was peaceful and the next morning Matt woke up happy alert and feeling great.
It was a roller coaster type of day but these days happen from time to time.
<3 Joan
