Seizure season

Its been a doozy of a week and its only thursday, Matt has had a grand mal seizure every night this week, thats to many.

Although we have not witnessed them when he wakes up I can tell, yes another seizure writen all over his face. Blood on his face and in his mouth, pale and drained and even if he is happy you can just tell something has happened.

I really have a heard time with this season on one hand it is my favorite season fall is so beautiful and mystical but I know with the less day light hours my son is really going to have a difficult time with this illness.

All I can do is keep doing my best.

As I was talking about Matt with my mom it accured to me that Matt has been having a lot more then normal (for this season) and all different types more often and I remembered that he is on his last pharmaceutical medication the last one he can try, my heart sank, what if this medication is no longer working? 

We are close to being able to grow our own Cannabis but we are not there yet and with the way things are right now we cant aford to buy him the amount of oil he will need.

Ahh sometimes I just dont know what to do.

Its been a rough week and this morning he thought ge was awake all night (even though he was not, he came out of his room disoriented in a panic with a hand full of random things and his snow boots half on stomping down the hall, I ask him what is going on he says " you told me to grab my stuff" I told him "I only said it was breakfast time" and he said " what its morning? I was up all night?"

Although he was not up all night for some reason he thought he was, I know he wasnt because I was up at 4am and he was fast asleep and when he is up all night not able to sleep he will come and let me know.

But for some reason he only remembers just falling asleep as I woke him up.

These days are very stressful for me and I am not sure what to make about it.

So we will continue to try the oil and continue to try the sun lamp and continue to try everything till we find a cure for him. 

Never, ever give up.

Joan